With everyone “stuck” at home right now, I’m hearing from many parents that behaviors are escalating. When that happens, so many times the frustration and overwhelm takes over. It feels like EVERYTHING is going wrong and there is NO WAY to deal with it. That’s why I’m providing two simple steps to dealing with tough behaviors, in and out of the home.
I’ve even put together a printable worksheet for your use! Grab it HERE.
Step 1: Determine What Behavior You Want to Stop
Take a breath, close your eyes, and think of that thing that’s making your day difficult?
- Is it that when you ask them to do something they ignore you?
- Or, maybe it’s that whenever you place a demand, they start crying and screaming?
- Is it bedtime?
Whatever that frustrating thing is, be as specific as you can!
For example, instead of saying, “When I ask them to do something, they throw a fit”, say “When I ask them to do something they don’t like, they start crying, throwing things, and try to hit me.”
The more specific the better!
Step 2: Determine What You Want to Happen Instead
Once you know the behavior you DON’T want to see, it’s time to determine what you DO want. This step is often skipped but is actually where the magic happens. When we get a child to stop one behavior without giving them the behavior we want instead, we open it up for them to fill in that space (and trust me, what they fill it with is often worse!)
Again, you’ll want to be as specific as possible. Instead of: “I want them to listen to me”, what you actually may want is that when you ask them to do something they stop what they are doing to listen, say okay and do what you asked right away.”
See how much more clear that is?
Dealing with Tough Behaviors
That’s it…. That’s all you need to figure out first! So, before you get discouraged just know that even if you don’t do anything other than those two things, I promise you’ll see improvements in behavior!
Want additional help? Contact me for a consultation and let’s talk through your challenges and some strategies you can implement during this tough time!
Coming up next week: I’ll walk you through what to do once you know which behavior you want to change and what you want to change it to!